A Note To Whomever (A Short Story)

Posted on July 23, 2012

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*The following story has since been rewritten to be published as a larger work. Details will follow.
I’m tired.
Tired of everything at the moment. My life is going nowhere as I sit and vegetate every single day, my brain turning to mush. I hope for rescue in some form for I have given up in all my pursuits of my dreams and desires.
My town I live in offers no hope and no way out. My faith is lost. I feel trapped in a circle of no escape where misery abounds and the Devil laughs. I see other trapped souls long given up, forgotten now as they go through ‘life’s’ so called motions like slaves long ago lost their souls to Lucifer.
I watch them daily, a faint trickle of life still left in me as they go about their daily business, whatever that may be? I see no flame dance behind their eyes. None whatsoever. Fish eyes they have. dead eyes. I feel sad for them, a pity perhaps misguided but a pity nonetheless. They are dead things now. Deader than your or I.
I fear venturing outside. The world is a place full of daemons and evil delight. Things that would gladly feed of you in some way, shape or form. I don’t want that to happen to me but probably won’t anyway. Maybe I’ll become like them? Shadows. Ghosts. Zombies. Vampyres. The walking dead. Whatever you want to call them, they have no soul left. Everything has gone as they fall into unison, all becoming the same thing losing their identity and their purpose.
They are nothing now…
It’s hot today, almost 80F and it’s been like this for two weeks with no sign of abating. This country has seen no rain whatsoever for three months now and still none on the horizon. Our river where I live has dried up not that there’s any life there anyway. All since long gone.
I think on what I should’ve done when I had the chances instead of just sitting there letting the minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years go by. Oh for a time machine, a Tardis to transport me back before all this happened.
‘You can’t live in the past,’ my friend used to say to which I would reply, ‘you can’t live in the future either because it hasn’t happened yet,’ and he would reply back, ‘but it has just now, and now and now…’ He had me on that one.
I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. What’s the point really when you probably won’t see it or maybe you will, who knows?
I’m running low on food and need to go out for supplies but again I fear it and what may come. I’m lost anyway really and as I’ve already said my time will come anyway sooner or later, only fate will know when and she’s a devil in herself.
As I look around my flat I think to myself what was the point of it really besides having a roof over my head. I’ve gained nothing from it and it was all for nothing. I never liked the town anyway but stayed for other people except myself until laziness kicked in and it became an excuse then not to leave. There was a whole world out there to explore and enjoy. A whole world.
Laziness is another devil I fear.
I can hear noises outside and the shouts and screams. I can also hear the shuffling of feet outside my door and low guttural noises and banging doors. Nothing ever changes here.
I’m off now to ready myself for outside. I may be back, I may not. Only time will tell. I better ready myself for what’s out there. Rucksack ready and everything else I need.
Wish me luck.
See you on the other side…

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